Dream Job - a Satirical Look at Federal Grant Money and those who Are Elected to Oversee the Projects

I was pleased to hear that you were interested in placing a rider for Oceanography Research of the Hawaiian Islands on the upcoming stimulus package. I've been involved in conducting Aquatic related research for the Federal Government for the past decade. Some of my more esteemed projects included the 'Study of Inoculation of the semi-transparent Sea Turtle', 'Why Sea Otters and Orca Whales don't get along', 'Salmon are from the Atlantic, Halibut are from the Pacific' and of course my favorite 'Dolphin Sonar and Star Wars: How Aquatic Sonar may stop the next Nuclear War'. Each of these well funded Federal programs provided Congress with much needed research to help in deciding where tax dollars for future fiscal periods should be spent. …