I committed my first murder at the age of twelve. I had killed before, but before
there were always motives such as self defense and protection of property. On December
25, 1991, however, I killed for the carnal sake of killing. Taking this life did not feel
wrong until the fraction of a second after it was too late. I remember vividly the pride I
felt in my steady aim, the rifle-sights barely moving from the tiny target I had chosen, and
then the crushing suffocation which replaced pride as soon as I squeezed my right index
finger. I was told that it was alright. My father said, 'go…
