Satirical essay about drugs.

Everybody knows that the real problem with illegal drugs is that they cost too much, and they are so difficult to get that drug addicts need to commit crimes in order to feed their habits. If only people could go down to the nearest Seven-Eleven and buy a cocaine slurpee, or drive up to the window at McDonald's and order a crack burger and a marijuana shake. People wouldn't't need to knock down an old lady and grab her purse, or commit a home invasion robbery.
Around sixty-six billion dollars a year is spent on illegal drugs. This shows that illegal drugs are a substantial portion of the…